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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25780375">Maybe One Day She'll Have More to Say</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gender Dysphoria, June Egbert - Freeform, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Female John Egbert, its not directly junedave but could be read that way</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:41:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25780375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is John Egbert, and honestly, you’re not sure if you want it to be. You have no idea what’s going on but you hate being a boy. You can’t even begin to count the number of times you’ve stood in front of the mirror and just cried because you just can’t stand it. You wish you had someone to talk to about it.</p><p>(title is from yet another front bottoms song, this time its Ginger. rlly good song,, makes me sad,, brrr)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John Egbert/Dave Strider</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Maybe One Day She'll Have More to Say</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>June brainrot rn I love her sm &lt;33 </p><p>comments are appreciated ~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your name is John Egbert, and honestly, you’re not sure if you want it to be. </p><p>These past few months have been... interesting to say the least. You’ve had a pit in your stomach and you can barely look at yourself in the mirror without wanting to vomit. You have no idea what’s going on but you hate being a boy. You can’t even begin to count the number of times you’ve stood in front of the mirror and just cried because you just can’t stand it. You wish you had someone to talk to about it.</p><p>Your name is John Egbert and you hate looking at yourself.</p><p>You’ve been talking to Dave lately, he came out to you. Says that he used to be a girl but now he’s not, you’re happy for him. It doesn’t stop the tight feeling in your lungs that happens when you think about him though. It’s not romance or hatred you don’t think, that’s different. This is more of a, a yearning feeling? You wish that was you. It sucks. You wish you could wear pretty dresses and have long hair and put pretty colours on your eyelids and for the love of god why couldn’t you have boobs. That sounds really weird, you realise, but it’s true. You wish you were a girl. </p><p>You are 17 years old and you have no idea what to do but you can’t stand being in your body.</p><p>You can’t tell any of your friends about it though, they’d think you were strange. Maybe Dave though, maybe you could tell him. You ask him what it feels like to transition, he gives you an odd look but tells you ‘It’s like nothing else in the world, its a pain in the ass but I’m finally who I want to be.’ And god do you wish that was you.</p><p>Your name is John Egbert and you just bought your first dress, with the help of Dave.</p><p>It’s baby blue and it has little white flowers all over it and it’s perfect. You love it. You like to go into the kitchen wearing it and help Jane bake, she likes your dress too. She even offers to buy you a few more. You and Jane and Dave spend the next day going through the mall to buy all the dresses you want, and Jane lets you wear her makeup. They take you to a salon to get your hair done, it’s probably the best day of your life. </p><p>Your name is John Egbert and you think you might be a girl.</p><p>You’ve replaced any of your ‘normal’ outfits with pretty dresses and all your shoes with fancy boots or high heels (Jane says she has no idea how you manage to walk in those, and honestly neither do you), you’ve started wearing lavender perfume instead of whatever you used before. You are so much happier.</p><p>You… actually you don’t know who you are this time.</p><p>You are trying to pick a new name for yourself, but there are just so many options it’s hard to choose. None of them really fit you. Emma, Olivia, Ava, Emily, none of them sit right. You’re just going by Jay for right now, it’s not quite masculine, not quite feminine. You like it but it still doesn’t feel right. Your hair is long enough for a ponytail now though, you called Dave over as soon as you found out. The two of you celebrated by going out and getting a bunch of fancy bits to put in your hair, you love butterfly clips. </p><p>Your name is… still Jay, but this time you’re a girl.</p><p>You’re really starting to hate that name. It doesn’t fit well with your last name and it doesn’t give you a happy feeling when people say it. But you asked Dave if he would start calling you a girl, and it is like nothing else. The happy flutter in your stomach that happens when he says ‘Oh this is my friend Jay, she’s gonna be staying over tonight.’ when he invites you to his house for the first time is indescribable. His brother looks sceptical but he just pulls you back to his room and goes through his closet to find all his old stuff from before his transition. The two of you hang out for a while before Jane calls you back home for something, she says she has a surprise. </p><p>Your name might be June? You want it to be.</p><p>Jane suggested it, and you really like it. It fits. It’s you. It makes you happy. You put on your blue dress again, it makes you the happiest. It’s the first dress you ever got and it’s from Dave, your best friend and one of the people who has been helping you through this since the beginning. You cry a little. You’re finally happy.</p><p>You are June Egbert and Dave says that you’re the prettiest girl he knows.</p><p>And you know that he’s serious, he even has his shades off. You think you might be crying, Dave pulls you into a hug and tells you he’s so proud of you and that moment will never leave your mind. Dear Dave Strider, thank you for being there, you think, thank you for figuring out who I am. </p><p>Your name is June Egbert and you’ve never been happier.</p><p>You walk into the doctor’s office and today is the day. Today you’re starting hormones. Dave and Jane are right by your side as always, god you love them. You have Jane record it for you, the biggest smile on your face. You record your voice and other changes every month and it’s super expensive but Dave was right, you are way happier.</p><p>Your name is June Egbert and maybe this is the happiest day of your life.</p><p>Today you’re getting top surgery. It’s been over a year since you started hormones, but it’s finally time. Your bills are going to kill you but you think back to what Dave said about it being the best feeling in the world. You hope it is. He holds your hand the whole way through. He’s right, it hurts a whole fucking lot, but in the end, you have boobs. They make you so happy.</p><p>Your name is June Egbert and you think you can finally love yourself.</p>
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